Focused, Fulfilled, and Fearless

Have you ever heard a story of someone who did something literally so insane that you didn’t believe them? The next words out of your mouth were probably, “Show me a video”. Take a second, and think of a story that had you debating whether you should call their mom and make sure they weren’t on any new medications, or just simply believe without proof.

This was me, around 3 am sitting in an Indonesian gazebo on an island across the world, listening to a college student I had just met about six hours earlier. This guy was the definition of extrovert. I mean, pure class clown, sitting across from me, telling story after story as my friend and I tried to muffle our laughs with our sleeves as the rest of our team was sleeping only feet away.

Okay before I continue my story, I have a confession. A confession that might eternally put a dent in our relationship. I have a fear of dogs. Yes, I am that “one out of a million girls” who is not the hugest fan of dogs. The girl who will jump on a kitchen countertop to get away from the vicious pony sized furball running my way. There is a reason for my fear, but we don’t need to go there. Okay, now that we got that out of the way, I’ll continue with my story.

The guy sitting across from me showed up at the guesthouse we were staying at a few hours earlier to hang out with one of our translators. He just walked in, no knock, and introduced himself as Ransey. A few hours later, our translator kicked us out of her room and everyone went to bed, as they had a 6:30 am flight. I was not as smart. This story had me following Ransey as he lead the way outside to a little hut to finish his story. And another. And another. And another. All of them, jaw dropping. I’ll do my best to reenact the one story that left dog-fearing me, in awe.

“Okay, Delanee. Jenny. This one is even more insane. Picture 12 year old me, who had just accepted Christ into my life days before, walking along the streets of Arlington, Texas, delivering tracks and Bible study invites to families in a trailer park. I broke off the group I was with and started to head down one of the grassy paths, passing a fenced in trailer home with 3 deadly looking dogs, barking their faces off right on the other side of the fence. I, of course, didn’t even bother walking up to their door to give them a track. In that moment, I chose life. But of course, God had a different plan.

As I continued down the path toward the other homes, every step got heavier, and heavier. I mean, I could barely pick my feet off the ground. You know that feeling when God’s like: You there, you better turn around and follow my will because I know, that you know, that I know what’s best for you. And 12 year old me, of course, had to risk my delicate young life, and obey. I turned around and walked back to the chipped fence, preparing to die.

I started to recite the only verse I knew, as a 12 year old new believer, John 3:16, which to me in that moment, had absolutely nothing to do with the situation. But I was praying and begging God to have mercy on me and let me skip this house once again. Of course, he said no. So, I put my shaking hand on fence, staring into the black eyes, of the slobbering open-mouthed, threesome preparing for their breakfast: me.

I pushed open the fence, screaming random common phrases I had heard in Sunday School over the sound of them barking their pre-meal prayer, and began my journey to the grave, or so I thought.

On the first step into the tiny, fenced in yard, all three dogs simply stopped barking and sat down. The first one sat, then the second, then the third. Lying their devil heads on the ground, they just looked at me.

It almost looked as if they were sleeping, or bowing at my feet. Inside I was like, whattttt. Papa G this isn’t happening, is this for real?

I walked up to the door and knocked lightly, afraid to arouse the dogs from their weird trance. I heard a click and a boy, maybe 5 years old, opened the door and looked up at me. I was surprised at the original interaction, taking in his long ripped blue shirt and hopefully a pair of shorts, and asked him if his mom or dad was home. He shook his head and I bent down, handing him the track and asking if he would give it to his mommy when she got home. He nodded and repeated the instructions back to me. I thanked him and swiftly turned on my heels as he shut the door, tiptoeing out of the yard before the dogs changed their mind. Praise God, they didn’t follow and I survived. The second I stepped out of the fence, they jumped up and went crazy. I mean picture how they were the first time, and multiply the horror times 4.”

Okay, see your faces right now, that was me. I was appalled.

How could someone do something so insane just to make sure that they had the chance to glance at a track, that they would probably just use for their cat’s litter box? Well, this is pretty much the exact story of Paul. Okay not exactly, but they do have similar themes.

Almost Paul’s entire life was dedicated to spreading the truth of the gospel that he knew, and believed, would change eternity. To me, Ransey seemed insane to open that fence. To the Corinthians, Paul seemed insane to go and preach in the way he did. He became a friend to the friendless, a home to the homeless, a teacher to the confused, a leader to the lost, and a servant to all. We definitely can learn a lot from the way Paul lived.

So let’s open our bibles to 2 Corinthians 5:11-15.

This book of the Bible is written by Paul and Timothy to the church in Corinth. They are trying to prove themselves to the Corinthians by sharing that they have been persecuted and beat, proving that it is the true gospel, because they are willing to deal with the worst of the worst just so that people can hear it.

Verse 11 says, “Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others.” Pause. The first word of that sentence, “therefore”, means something important lies before it. So let’s back up and read verse 10. “For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”

Here, Paul is setting the scene of what is going to happen when we die, and it’s no joke. We are going to have to sit in front of God, and be judged. The being that is in charge of the entire world, heaven, and hell, is going to look you in the eyes and decide whether or not your life was a testament of faith.

Back to verse 11. “Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others.” Sitting in front of God as he judges you for your life here on earth, should be heavy. You should fear that moment, and it should drive you to spread the news of Jesus Christ to anyone who is close enough to listen.

What a motivation for ministry, that one day we will stand before a God who will judge according to our actions.

Let’s continue reading. “But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience. We are not commending ourselves to you again but giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart. For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”

He wrote to us about his motivation for being who he was, doing what he did, and for serving Who he served. This is what Paul is saying. “Can’t you see I’m not trying to make myself a big deal in front of you? I’m getting beat up, I have nothing, I’m pressed on every side, but I’m not distraught because I believe at the end of the day, I’m going to have to answer to God for the way that I live. And those guys, are going to have to answer for the way that they lived. And you, Corinthians, are going to have to answer for the way that you live.” Those who “boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart” are the “health and wealth” preachers of this time.

“Oh, if you follow God he’ll give you a perfect life of good health and will provide for you forever” No! The Bible doesn’t say that. Paul is speaking to the churches in Corinth that are not willing to preach the gospel and risk their lives for it.

His fulfillment was not in finding himself, but in losing himself to Jesus.

Paul would risk his life and open that fence to deliver a track, just like Ransey did. But these churches would never! They sit in their comfortable life, putting value in how others see them and convincing them that they can have the same comfortable life. I went to a financial class the other day and I heard the speaker say, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Paul is trying to get these churches to see that their heart is in how others view them, not in the truth of the gospel. Paul is pleading with them to help them understand that all of his crazy preaching and crazy actions, risking his life, is for them to hear the truth that will save them. Everything he is doing is for God’s glory.

He’s saying, “We carry around this treasure in jars of clay, I’m so fragile, I’m so broken, but I do it because I’ve been given this ministry of reconciliation and the cross of Christ compels me to continue.

Like, what else am I doing this for? What could you possibly think I’m doing this for? Other then I’ve concluded that we are ambassadors for Christ, that Christ died, and therefore, all have died. I consider myself dead. These guys are clearly doing it for some other reason.”

In the NIV version, verse 14 says, “For Christ’s love compels us”. Paul uses the word “compels”, meaning to be gripped with inner pressure. He is so fully surrounded by the love of Christ that it compels him to live for Christ and not selfishly. He isn’t afraid to suffer.

When putting Christ above everything is your main intent, suffering becomes a gift.

I heard a sermon by David Platt once and he said, “When Christ is your life, then dying is gain. The worst thing that could happen to you (death), has become the best thing that could happen to you.” Why? If you die because of the truth of the gospel, Christ is being magnified. What are we called to? To make Him known. Because we are new creations in Christ, everything we do is now for God’s will, and not for ourselves. This should make you see through a different lens. Everywhere you go, everything you do, every person you encounter; all of it is an opportunity to share and reflect Christ.

My first two years of high school, I tried to convince myself that it would soon be over and I would be headed off to college, and then to start my life. I used to think of college as a place where I would get my degree and then hopefully move overseas afterwards to start spreading the gospel. Looking back, I can honestly say that I loved overseas missions, but I didn’t love the Lord to the fullest extent. I was so missions-focused, that I lost sight of being Christ focused. It was so selfish. I quickly learned that I need to have a burden for the lost, and that burden needs to be because of how much I love Christ, not because of how much I love people. I discovered that I was looking at things through the wrong lens. I was waiting for the next six years to go by as quickly as possible to start sharing the truth that drastically changed my life with others across the world.

I walked the streets of Cleveland fretting over how people in Indonesia don’t know the gospel, when there’s people right in front of me in the same boat. In college, you’re constantly surrounded by people. If I am so fully filled with the love of Christ, it should automatically compel me to share that love with other people.

I can’t just say, “Oh, people will look at me and think wow, I wonder why that girl is so different” and it somehow push them to crave Jesus Christ as their savior. I have to go, and tell people why I live differently-for Christ. These next four years of my life will likely prepare me for ministry after college.

But not just because of THEOLOGY 201 or APOLOGETICS 360. These next four years are an opportunity to help those around me grow in their faith, and to share my faith with those who have not yet heard of the truth that has the opportunity to change their life.

So here I am, a 17 year old girl, trying to convince the viewers of the internet to share the gospel with those they encounter in their schools, workplaces, pizzafire, wherever! And when you walk through that tunnel to do homework in the Panera across the street. And when you go home on spring break. And when you’re sitting in the common area and you see someone crying over failing their nursing exam. Every place you walk creates a new missions field.

Ransey just had to trust God that he would protect him walking up to that door. And guess what happened after he did? That little boy gave his mom that track, and the next week they both showed up to Bible study. And the week after that, the little 5 year old boy gave his life to Christ.

Are you going to live like Paul? Or are you going to let your fear that other people might perceive you differently stop you from changing eternity for the glory of the Lord?

Together, let’s commit to being disciple makers. Disciple makers that are focused on the future, disciple makers that find fulfillment in Christ, and disciple markers that will forfeit their fear.